Godforsaken hole

Φορτώνω τον Maci, με δίσκους, βιβλία, ταινίες, έρευνες και εργασίες. Γράφω τη λίστα για το σούπερ μάρκετ ακούγοντας Ρόδες και Βρώμικο. Πίνω φρέντο καπουτσίνο σπιτικό. Τι άλλο θέλουμε; Αντηλιακά, αντικουνουπικά για πριν και μετά το τσίμπημα! Τα παιδιά στην τηλεόραση τα έχω βαρεθεί! Παρωδούν μάλλον αυτό που λέγεται πολιτική και πίσω από τις λέξεις  θα κρύβεται πάντα ο Αλέξης .

Έξω μπουμπουνίζει , συννεφιές και όμως η πόλη με διώχνει μπορεί κι εγώ να θέλω να την διώξω από πάνω μου. Ανοίγω για λίγο το παράθυρο, βρεγμένο χώμα και μεθυστική μυρωδιά ακακίας. Φυσάει πάλι, σκέφτομαι τα παιδιά στην παραλία. Μετράω τις μέρες και ξαφνικά σκοτεινιάζουν  όλα και ανοίγουν οι ουρανοί! Την Παρασκευή κι αυτή η μπόρα θα είναι πλέον παρελθόν. Μια βδομάδα παράλια μετά Σαλόνικα για έκθεση βιβλίου και Ρόδες και μετά πάλι πίσω στην αμμουδιά. Κάποια μέρα θα γυρίσω όλο τον κόσμο, μέχρι τότε ας διαβάσω λίγο Μπέκετ...

Samuel Beckett: Not I

Note:Written in English in spring 1972. First performed at the Forum Theater of the Lincoln Center, New York, in September 1972. First published by Faber and Faber, London, in 1973. First performed in Britain at the Royal Court Theatre, London, on 16 January 1973.

Movement: this consists in simple sideways raising of arms from sides and their falling back, in a gesture of helpless compassion. It lessens with each recurrence till scarcely perceptible at third. There is just enough pause to contain it as MOUTH recovers from vehement refusal to relinquish third person.

Stage in darkness but for MOUTH, upstage audience right, about 8 feet above stage level, faintly lit from close-up and below, rest of face in shadow. Invisible microphone.
AUDITOR, downstage audience left, tall standing figure, sex undeterminable, enveloped from head to foot in loose black djellaba, with hood, fully faintly lit, standing on invisible podium about 4 feet high shown by attitude alone to be facing diagonally across stage intent on MOUTH, dead still throughout but for four brief movements where indicated. See Note.As house lights down MOUTH`S voice unintelligible behind curtain. House lights out. Voice continues unintelligible behind curtain, l0 seconds. With rise of curtain ad-libbing from text as required leading when curtain fully up and attention sufficient into:

MOUTH: . . . . out . . . into this world . . . this world . . . tiny little thing . . . before its time . . . in a godfor– . . . what? . . girl? . . yes . . . tiny little girl . . . into this . . . out into this . . . before her time . . . godforsaken hole called . . . called . . . no matter . . . parents unknown . . . unheard of . . . he having vanished . . . thin air . . . no sooner buttoned up his breeches . . . she similarly . . . eight months later . . . almost to the tick . . . so no love . . . spared that . . . no love such as normally vented on the . . . speechless infant . . . in the home . . . no . . . nor indeed for that matter any of any kind . . . no love of any kind . . . at any subsequent stage . . . so typical affair . . . nothing of any note till coming up to sixty when– . . . what? . . seventy?. . good God! . . coming up to seventy . . . wandering in a field . . . looking aimlessly for cowslips . . . to make a ball . . . a few steps then stop . . . stare into space . . . then on . . . a few more . . . stop and stare again . . . so on . . . drifting around . . . when suddenly . . . gradually . . . all went out . . . all that early April morning light . . . and she found herself in the--– . . . what? . . who? . . no! . . she! . . [Pause and movement 1.] . . . found herself in the dark . . . and if not exactly . . . insentient . . . insentient . . . for she could still hear the buzzing . . . so-called . . . in the ears . . . and a ray of light came and went . . . came and went . . . such as the moon might cast . . . drifting . . . in and out of cloud . . . but so dulled . . . feeling . . . feeling so dulled . . . she did not know . . . what position she was in . . . imagine! . . what position she was in! . . whether standing . . . or sitting . . . but the brain– . . . what?. . kneeling? . . yes . . . whether standing . . . or sitting . . . or kneeling . . . but the brain– . . . what? . . lying? . . yes . . whether standing . . . or sitting . . . or kneeling . . . or lying . . . but the brain still . . . still . . . in a way . . . for her first thought was . . . oh long after . . . sudden flash . . . brought up as she had been to believe . . . with the other waifs . . . in a merciful . . . [Brief laugh.] . . . God . . . [Good laugh.]